Ending a Chapter

I am home.  Woah.  These last three months of living in the beautiful country of Costa Rica seem to be nothing but a dream; a feeling I am not too fond of.  That's why this next chapter of my blog will be a valiant effort to capture any fleeting memories I can before they slip away.  However, in this post: current thoughts about returning to the land of the free and home of the brave.

I made it through all of the good-byes, the full day of traveling, and even the greetings of family and friends without crying.  I do not pride, nor punish myself for that fact as I believe everyone processes differently, and no one way is correct.  However, as I sit down to write this–in my comfy bed–a couple tears are sliding down my cheeks.  I don't know how many more to expect in the coming hours, days, weeks.

Ending a chapter in life is never an easy thing to do, especially if you don't feel like it has been completely written.  The people you know who have studied abroad will tell you that those three or four months is indeed a chapter of their book, not a sentence as a vacation would equate to.  Yes, I did live in Costa Rica.  A place with eighty degree weather on a cold day.  A land with the most beautiful beaches that I have seen accompanied by bathwater to swim in.  A region with incredible landscapes and tropical storms that shout of God's existence and reflect His beauty.  But it was no vacation.  I wasn't visiting the country; I lived there.  I had to create something of a life for myself in Costa Rica with routines, schedules, entertainment, can't forget school, and friends who quickly became my family. 

All this is an effort to say that returning back to the United States is not at all the same as coming back from a couple-week vacation, and a different feeling than when I left because my life in Costa Rica–aside from the family created–is not something I will have, ever again.  Leaving the U.S.A. in September, I knew that I would be picking up the life I put on hold in just three short months.

Don't get me wrong, I am my fair share of excited to be home.  I wrapped my arms around the love of my life for the first time in what felt like forever.  She isn't just an image on a screen anymore and I love it!  I had spaghetti for dinner.  If you know me at all, you understand the difficulty I had being away from spaghetti for three months.  Okay, I had it twice while I was there, but it just wasn't the same.  Soon I will be seeing the friends I had to leave.  And though I haven't just yet, but I will today..  I get to drive!  Stay off the streets because I am three months out of practice and have been influenced by the Tico, driving culture.  If you hear my horn, it's probably me just saying hey.  If I cut you off, well I apologize.  I'm just on a mission.

Hey, by the way IT'S COLD!  My friends and I began to process this well in advance, but the first experience of Oregon's thirty-seven degree weather was still a shock to the system.  Just a couple weeks ago, my friends and I were bundled up with hot chocolate in hand listening to an outdoor Christmas concert in sixty-five degree weather..  However, I am elated to get re-acquainted with my sweaters, wool coat, and gloves.  I have missed my winter wardrobe.

Speaking of Christmas, I still haven't quite entered the holiday spirit.  The cold plus Christmas decorations is helping, instead of associating them with palm trees and eighty degree days.  But it still hasn't fully developed inside of me, and it's only a week away!  Don't worry, I will get there.

Needless to say, my thoughts and emotions about returning cover a wide spectrum of colors.  I know that I am going to miss the relationships created there more than Costa Rica itself.  It's not an easy thought knowing I won't be doing life with the people I have been for the last few months.  But, I am excited for this next chapter of my life as well.  It holds some exciting events within its pages.

I can flush my toilet paper again!