Listen up, Ladies

That's right, this one is for you.  However, all you guys should listen up as well because this has just as much to do about you, and your turn is coming soon; stay tuned.  I want to hash out a rather simple problem that has been stuck in a downward cycle for quite some time.  I say listen up to the ladies not because they are at solely at fault, but because they have a greater impact in this issue than I believe most realize.

The problem is the loss of masculinity in our culture.  I'm not talking about the aggressive, testosterone driven, too manly to give a hug, impress other men with my muscles and how many different women I can lay, dick measuring version of masculinity our culture has come to know.  That's actually the very problem I want to address.  I am talking about genuine, chivalrous masculinity that was once a central part of every man's identity.  The masculinity that meant opening a door for a woman, standing up in her presence, and knew how to treat her with respect rather than as an object.

Am I arguing that there aren't any of these men left?  Not at all.  However, they are harder to come by these days, and I believe the problem is rooted in a social misunderstanding of what masculinity is.  Out of it spawns a list of issues longer than a family of seven's grocery list, but this only serves as a distraction to the central problem.

The misunderstanding is simple really.  Men can't be sensitive.  Not that they don't possess the power to be, but rather they shouldn't be.  Men have to be strong and well, sensitivity is a sign of weakness.  It's for women and for women only.  The problem is, this isn't true.  Sensitivity is not a woman-thing it's a human-thing.  That means men can and in fact should be sensitive.

So why is it that we put men inside a box?  Why do we fill it with a certain list of traits of what men should be, and when they 'accidentally' step out of that box they get stones thrown at them?  Isn't it true?  I see it happen often.  A guy says or does something that ever-so-slightly strays away from his strict definition and he is labeled as a sissy, gay, woman, cry-baby, fag, wimp, pansy, queer to name a few.  They increase in malignancy from there.  Yes guys will use these names and it is offensive, but ladies I hear throwing these stones too and let me tell you that you have no idea the damage you are causing.  Regardless of whether you actually mean it or are just saying it as a joke it is being interpreted the same way, and for good reason.

When you call a man one of these names–or any of the many unlisted–you are directly attacking the very core of who he is, or desires to be.  It shouldn't take much to realize that is harmful.  It's even more harmful when you add into the equation that the way to show a guy love is to respect him, which is the very opposite of what you are doing when you use these names.  As anyone would, he puts his guard up because the last thing he wants is his vulnerability to be attacked a second time.

I don't know if you have noticed, but men also tend to have a problem with being wrong.  It's a pride thing.  But that means that the guy now has to prove that he isn't a wimp, pansy, or what have you by doing one, a few, or all of the things I mentioned in the second paragraph.  Repeat this same instance as often as it gets repeated and you can see how it doesn't take long for the idea of masculinity to become twisted. 

Though men in general punch harder, blows of this nature always hurt more when delivered by women.  So ladies, I plead you to stop calling guys these names even in a joking manner and to broaden your view of what masculinity is to include all characteristics of basic, human nature.  Whether they say it or not, or whether you believe it or not men will thank you for it.